i feel the pain and the pressure of the world, in my heart

in my heart i can feel you all

mostly i feel your pain

because mostly, there is pain

it hurts my heart

your hurt hurts my heart

because I can -feel-

most of you have learned and trained yourselves how to -not- feel

because the pain was too much for your sensitive hearts, your sensitive spirits

we all come into this existence on such a high level of sensitivity 

we come into this world from a spirit realm where our senses are on a spirit level which is free, able to - be . 

the amazing beings we are.

the state of our world, has been so harsh on our precious sacred spirits

our innocence had no chance of survival 

so here we are, here we have been

products of our pain

our whole world

products of our pain

our pain as a People

our pain as an ancestor

our pain as an individual

hurt little children punishing who we can for not being fully loved

if you have, or if you are a parent who does not know how to love, you are a parent who has forgotten how to love yourself. A parent who had a parent who had a parent who had a parent who did not know - love. 

Today there are many "kinds" of love. According to those who do not know -true- love. 

Many "love", 

many "think" they "love"...

many are loving from a place of pain

where there is pain, there is a lack of love

so the love that you have and give, carries little substance

true love is so filling!

It quenches all thirsts and feeds all hungers to the deepest degree

Love is the only true power there is

Love is the only true power that exists

Because Love is who Our Creator IS

there have been many powers that have come to be since we discovered our own powers and chose to use them without the direction of our Creator,

but when you can see past the ego made facade, you can see that only love exists

everything else is only real because man has made it real

every disease, every sickness, every polluted thought, every war, every govermnent is as real as it is today because we have chosen to believe it is real

therefore we have given it our power

therefore, it is real

I am a believer in love. I believe true love is living. True love is what keeps our hearts beating. True love is from the Holiest Source of Life. He is not a He. He is not a She. He is nothing and everything. He has no name Holy enough for our wretched tongues to speak. There is no human language sacred enough to convey a name as Great as His.

So we are here, brothers and sisters of the Now,

in the awakening..

Realize, some of us have been here longer, some of us have ben sent here, for this,

learn to understand your spirit

Be humble in your new understandings, for you are now like a child, in a new world

There is much more to understand

Let your excitement guide you to more questioning, more listening

Do not speak so soon from excitement of new lessons eagerly to teach others when you have just learned yourself

be patient with those who have not yet awakened and remember that you were once sleeping, like they are, still..
pray for them
pray for yourself that you may be the light that shines in the dark

Take your time in understanding, always coming back to your humility in knowing that no matter how much you may know, you know nothing. 

Your life is a servitude to the One who knows everything

every second waiting upon His command of love

Who am I... I am the humble Servant of the Lord of all the Heavens and of all the Earth, here, to do as I am commanded, and as one does who truly loves, my life is showered with unending blessings, because I am loving. That is all we are here to do. So simple... so simple... once you remember your truth. 

Once you remember your truth, you begin to live in the Paradise of the Now

For even when there is chaos and pain, the truth will prevail and ultimately manifest peace. 

May you be guided by the Holy Spirit and transform your life into a living prayer of love.

I love you

 Sophia

last full moon of the year

winter moon, consume me
open me into your womb
penetrate through my doom
the cold of your time stirs me alive, yet sleep falls heavy on me
light, light, light us up
remind us of our glory


last full moon of the year

winter moon
consume me
open me into my womb
penetrate through my doom
deliver me into your night
stir me alive
fall your sleep heavy on me
light, light, light us up
remind us of our glory

winter moon

Hagia Sophia

Sophia and her three daughters - Faith, Hope and Love

Sophia, God's consort

The grid - Tree and Flower of Life - Creation

I am that supreme and fiery force that sends forth all living sparks. Death hath no part in me, yet I bestow death, wherefore I am girt about with Wisdom as with wings. I am that living and fiery essence of the divine substance that glows in the beauty of the fields, and in the shining water, and in the burning sun and the moon and the stars, and in the force of the invisible wind, the breath of all living things, I breathe in the green grass and the flowers, and in the living waters...

[Book of Divine Works, circa 1167, in Partnow, The Quotable Woman, 48]

I am the first and the last
I am the honored one and the scorned one
I am the whore and the holy one
I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the members of my mother
I am the barren one, and many are her sons....
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
And the idea whose remembrance is frequent
And the word whose appearance is multiple
I am the utterance of my name.


The Divine Barbelo

Here is a story that I found on line that says it comes from the Sia(Zia) Pueblo People.. 

A Sia Legend

Before Ut'se't, Mother of the People, left this world, she selected six Sia women and sent one to the north, one to the west, one to the south, one to the east, one to the zenith, and one to the nadir, and told them to make their homes at these points for all time. That way they would be near the cloud rulers of the cardinal points, and they could intercede for all the people of Ha'arts.
Ut'se't told her people to remember these women in times of need, and they would appeal to the cloud people for them.
The Sia alone followed the command of Ut'se't and took the straight road, while all other pueblos advanced by various routes to the center of the earth.
After Ut'se't's departure the Sia traveled some distance and built a village of beautiful white stone, where they lived for a long duration.
At one time all the parents suffered tragically at the hand of ti'a'moni, who, objecting to the increase of his people, caused all children to be put to death. The Sia had scarcely recovered from this calamity when another serious difficulty arose.
The Sia women worked hard all day, grinding meal and singing; and at sundown, when the men returned to the houses, the women would often abuse them, saying: "You are no good; you do not care to work. All you want to do is be with women all the time. If you would allow four days to pass between, the women would care more for you."
The men replied: "You women really want to be with us all day and all night. If you could have the men only every four days, you would be very unhappy."
The women retorted: "It is you men who would be unhappy if you could be with the women only every four days."
And the fight grew angrier and angrier. The men cried: "Were it ten days, twenty days, thirty days that we remained apart from you, we'd never be unhappy."
The women replied: "We think not, but we women would be very contented to remain away from you men for sixty days."
And the men said: "We men would be happy to remain apart from you women for five moons."
The women, growing more excited, cried: "You do not speak the truth; we women would be contented to be separated from you ten moons."
The men retorted: "We men could remain away from you women twenty moons and be very happy."
"You do not speak the truth," said the women, "for you wish to be with us all the time, day and night."
Three days they quarreled and on the fourth day the women finally took themselves to one side of the pueblo, while the men and boys gathered on the other side, each forming their own kiva, or ceremonial chamber. The women had a great talk and the men held a council. They were both furious with one another.
The ti'amoni, who presided over the council, said: "Perhaps you will each be contented if you and the women try living apart."
And on the following morning he had all the men and male children who were not being nourished by their mothers cross the great river which ran by the village, the women remaining in the village.
The men departed at sunrise, and the women were delighted. They said: "We can do all the work; we understand the men's work and we can work like them."
The men said to each other: "We can do the things the women did for us."
As they left the village the men called to the women: "We leave you to yourselves, perhaps for one year, perhaps for two, and perhaps longer. Who knows how it will work out? After all, men are not so amorous as you."
It took a long time for the men to cross the river, as it was very wide. The ti'amoni led the men and remained with them. The women were compelled by the ti'amoni to send their male infants over the river as soon as they ceased nourishing them.
For two moons the men and women were very happy. The men were busy hunting and all the game they could eat, but the women had no animal food. The men grew stout and the women very thin.
At the expiration of the first ten moons some of the women were sad away from the men.
As the second year passed, more of the women wanted the men, but the men seemed perfectly satisfied with the way things were.
After three years the women more and more wished for the men, but the men were only slightly desirous of the women.
When the fourth year was half gone, the women called to the ti'amoni, saying: "We want the men to come to us."
The female children had grown up like reeds; they had no flesh on them. The morning after the women begged the ti'amoni for the return of the men, they re-crossed the river to live again with the women, and in four days after their return the women had recovered their flesh.
- Based on Matilda Cox Stevenson's report of 1889.

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There is a natural order to life. We are who we are because we were created in this way, at this time.  When man tries to change this natural way of being, man is no longer living in his truth, and the pain and confusion enter in. 
One can seek for the truth, the truth can be revealed, but it is up to the seeker to accept the truth, or not. The deepest freedom lies in the acceptance of the truth. 
What is truth ? 
Truth lives in the realest place within your living being, and when you feel it, when you touch it, when you see it, you know it.. you know it.. 
you may not like it..but you know it..
What do you choose.. 
Choosing truth is the great battle of man's time..we have moved away from truth since we moved away from God, The Creator. Lies have consumed us and everything we do. Though the truth still remains, as does our choice to choose truth. It is hard at this stage to even tell what is truth and what is-not, for the lost seeker. The seeker must surrender all understandings of his own mind and vision and ask to be lead by the light of the Knower of All so that they may see the t r u t h -again-  

Women, we are the mothers of the living. 
Mothers, we are the bearers of life.
We carry the love that every living being needs, to live, in their truth.
Whether they need us every day, every four days, or every other moon..
We are here to give our love..to our children, to the men who gave us our children, our mothers, our fathers, our sisters, our brothers, our lands, our animals, our waters.. all that lives..
We carry the love of the Creator within us as do all living, we hold the wisdom of the world within our wombs. If we have forgotten our love, how can anyone else remember.... ? 
A man lives to fulfill his duties. His duties are the more physical duties. It is how he has been created. If we do not accept him and try to conform him, we will lose him. He- will lose -himself. It is up to us to give them our nurturing love so that they know how to love themselves, us, and our children, and our land, and our animals, and our waters, and all that lives..
The state of our world reflects the state of our Spirits. Our Spirits are not connected to our love. We are not loving ourselves. Therefore, we cannot love - anyone. We continue to battle in war because our Spirits are still in battle. Our Spirits are in battle because we are not giving into our truths. Into our love. 
Some will say, "but I love so much and so hard and still, I am in pain!"
You are in pain because what you are giving is not love, what you are giving is pain. Causing more pain. Probably to someone also in pain. Pain pain pain. Old pain that has been with you for most of your life. We are also carriers of the Spirits that live within us..our blood line..so not only can we carry our own personal pain that stems from a lack of love during childhood, but we carry the pain of our ancestors lack of love. For some this pain is deeper. Some experience very little pain in life. This is for those living in pain, which from the looks of it, is most of our world. Our governments are run by little hurt children, taking their confused aching hearts pain out on the world. Anyone...anyone... who acts in dishonesty and injustice, does not k n o w - love. That is all that is lacking in our world. The one simple (we are the ones who have made it hard) act. The one simple understanding. The one simple knowing. 
When you can see past the pain, past the lies.. you see the lack of love.. you see the weak little child so malnourished in love..and then the pain and lies are understandable.. how could someone who does not know love, who was never given or shown love, or someone who has denied love, how could they and their actions cause anything other than pain.. ? Compassion. Compassion is what one feels when they can see beyond the wrongful actions of another and into the pain that it is coming from. You are not provoked to react to their wrongful actions, because you can see the root of their being is in pain and you don't want to cause them more pain, instead you love. Either from afar or nearby. That, is compassion. That is what our world does not remember. Because we have forgotten our love. 

To be able to give your love without depleting your own love, to be able to give love -period- you must first love, t r u l y love, yourself.
When we do not truly love ourselves and we give our love away, as we naturally do, we are giving from an already empty place, making it even emptier.. until we feel we cannot give anymore..and then the desperation kicks in..  and we are no longer women.. t r u e women... 
A woman is the human core of life. We have the strength of the world within us. The heart strength, within. There is nothing, nothing stronger than the power of -real- love. Love can transform the darkest beings into the brightest beings.

Our men are with us to be who we are not. We, their women, are with them, to be, who they are not. Creating a perfect, balance. 
A -perfect- union we are. A perfect partnership. A perfect duo. If we only allowed ourselves to be, who we truly are. 
If we allowed ourselves to be who we are, and who we are for each other, we could sustain off of our love and gratitude for one another and would want to please one another in the most loving ways. Because we would realize how the role of the other is so needed to live a life suited for our true selves. Loving is not meant to be a burden. Loving is meant to be loving. And so beautiful.. and so gracious.. and so harmonious.. so peaceful.. so perfect.. like Our Creator. We are His creations, how could we be any less ??? We are not. We are so much more than we allow ourselves to be. We are physical manifestations of His Love. 

Wasted, painful time so many spend in trying to make our partners into someone they are not. Wasted, painful time so many spend trying to make themselves into someone, they are not. 
So many do not want to be who they are. So many wish to be someone else. With someone else's life..looks..gifts... If they could only look at themselves in their fullness to see who they are, who they came here to be, all that is here for them, or seemingly not here for them, but all they have been given and - a c c e p t - themselves, their true selves, not the life they have created for themselves in their false-selves, they could begin to live in truth.. where peace is a constant rather than a rare moment. Where all of your hearts desires are met, because your heart only desires the truth of everything and everyone, therefore the truth is given unto you. Truth is beauty. Truth is love. Truth is peace. Truth is clarity. Truth is strength. Truth is wisdom. Truth is Honest. Truth is humble. Truth is light. 

Men, you are here to guard, protect and provide for us, the carriers of life, your continuation of life is through us, and we honor and thank you for loving us, the way you love your mother, the way you love your sister, the way you love your daughter. We are all of the same. We are the women of your life. We are life. You are life. We love you. 

When we forget how to love each other, it is because we have forgotten how to love ourselves. 



Learn your love



Sophia

loneliness in love

 if we knew our love, we would be living in Paradise 
when you know your love, that is where you live
the only thing is, it is a lonely place
it is big, and it is lonely
miles and miles of the most beautiful lands your simple mind can't even imagine.. deep, deep peace.. everything you ingest is pure..everything you give is pure..everything is pure..
you -know- love
but you are there, in this Paradise, alone. 
no one to enjoy this beauty with
You know there are others out there, but there is so much space with so few people..
where are the others..
why are there not more here..
where I am..
surely I cannot be the only one who knows this love
surely..

There are always messages being given to us to help us grow more into our t r u e selves. To help deepen our understanding of ourselves which then allows us to deepen our understanding of everyone and everything living which would be us living fuller in our humanly potentials. 
All it takes is for us to quiet our minds so that we can hear all the messages for us. Everything we need to know is being told to us, and everything that we need to get is always given to us. But you have to be free enough to receive, all of your blessings. To be free, comes your surrendering. Your surrendering will grant you your freedom. Stop working so hard at what you don't really need. Allow yourself to be blessed with all the blessings your precious life deserves. It is easy to receive once you realize how sacredly special you are.
I am grateful to all the unseen light workers around me, helping me, guiding me, loving me. They are the workers of the light..the children of the light..who thrive in the ethers of love..in the ethers of the truth..making ways for love to manifest..they are God's hands..a gadrillion of them..working for Him..in His love..this realm of holy love is the place we have all come from..it is the place we all still exist -in. What makes this a living reality for me is I have felt this love and it has penetrated my being, awakening my truth-thee truth and I have re-claimed this truth as my truth. Therefore, it is. After this life, I believe I will return to this Paradise and stay there for eternity back to the side of my King, my Father, my Husband, my Brother, my Son. Who am I ? I am the Sophia of the Now.
Learning, here, how to be, who I Am, there -

Seek, and ye shall find
  

Claim Your Love

sometimes I wish I didn't see the things I can see.
sometimes I wish I didn't feel the things I can feel.
sometimes I wish I couldn't - feel
the way everyone else doesn't feel
It seems much easier that way
In a way..
but I've been there too..
and I know it's not.

I pray for the hardened hearts of the world
the disconnected..the lost..the wounded..the pained..the weary..the suffering..the weeping..
the dying..
I pray your salvation
I pray your awakening
I pray your love

the choice is in your life

May you become aware of the luminosity of your being.

All the love your child heart aches for, rests within, and all around you
Believe it and it shall be
Claim Y-OUR Love
Claim your love - n o w

The Christ of Life lives within all the Living*